• Kellie Dalan

NEGATIVE PRODUCT or POSITIVE EVOLUTION


Recently, I was doing some coaching prep and this quote stopped me in my tracks:

Remember…Failure is a big part of your path to success. It’s not your enemy. It is your partner in growth. It doesn’t define you; it refines you. If you didn’t fail, you wouldn’t build the character you need to succeed. Failure is an event, not a definition.

-Jon Gordon

As parents, teachers, community leaders, etc. we often preach to our youth that ‘failure is ok and part of the journey’; however, we forget that we should also embrace this message for ourselves. Failure is an event, not a definition!!! Do you let failures define you, becoming the new foundation of your life or the fixed message looping through your mind?

If we never fail, we never grow and evolve. I have never met a person who wanted to fail or was excited to have missed an opportunity they were working toward. Does showing our frustration or beating ourselves up prove how badly we wanted to succeed? What are we trying to prove with our negative reaction?

If your first instinct is to beat yourself up mentally when you fail, do you think you are going to succeed at your next try? Even if you try a new approach, if you are being negative with yourself you are immediately sabotaging that next effort. You are subconsciously choosing to fail again, even if you want to do better. Just wanting something isn’t enough, you have to battle the internal dialog if you truly want to evolve. Who said your failure is the end of that journey or goal? Why do we tend to beat ourselves up and negatively loop mentally, rather than digging deep and pivoting to redirect our efforts?

PIVOT…don’t get frustrated and let that moment define your next decision away from what you desire. Does this mean you never get frustrated? HECK NO! We are human and we all have our moments; HOWEVER, make sure it’s ONLY A MOMENT…NOT A DEFINITION OF SELF!

· Failures teach us what didn’t work.

· Failures teach us how to pivot.

· Failures teach us how important our goals truly are to us.

· Failures TEACH…they are our ‘partner in growth’

Today I challenge you to look at some of the failures in your life. Be honest with yourself and evaluate how you are letting those moments define your life. Are you allowing yourself to be a negative product of failure or a positive evolution? If you find that you’re a negative product, does that mean that you are the ultimate failure? NOT AT ALL! How can you change those negative reactions or loops to refine yourself into a positive evolution? We are all given moments and opportunities that help refine and evolve us…it is never too late to try again.

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