• Kellie Dalan

Frustration Mindset


Recently I was doing some research and mental mindset training and ran across an incredible quote:


“Energy goes where focus grows”

How many of us are currently frustrated? This can be about anything and I would bet most of us could measure some level of frustration in our lives. It is completely understandable, and I would argue warranted to some degree. There is so much out of our control in our world, our environment, and ourselves. When you think about frustrations, do you spin on it? Do you allow it to consume you?

As human beings we are wired to desire some level of control in our lives, some personalities desire much more than others. However, even the most laid back and spontaneous person has a measurable level of control needed for them to feel secure and safe. When that safety net gets yanked away, how do you respond?

When we allow our focus to be on the places we have no control, our energy gets trapped in a cyclone of overwhelmed, hopeless, frantic and emotionally heavy feelings. This trap can make it incredibly hard to get out because our ‘energy is flowing where our focus is growing’. We may try to superficially focus on other more positive areas; however, truly at our core we are still cultivating the crop of negativity, worry, doubt and fear.

Does this mean that we suddenly shift into Sunshine Care Bear and radiate joy from our bellies at every thought and interaction? Or decide that nothing matters, and passion is overrated so we will become a comatose version of ourselves and go numb? NO! Shifting our mindset means recognizing our triggers for negative energy and the ways that we are growing our fear and frustration garden. We need to find coping strategies to help us recognize a trigger, STOP, and reroute our previous pattern.


Deep Breathing

3-5 deep cleansing breaths can do tremendous good at stopping a negative pattern in its tracks.


Getting out in Nature

Fresh air and the complex simplicity of the outdoors can give a renewed sense of balance and perspective.


Turning Off Social Media or the News

In the words of Nike: JUST DO IT! It really will help break the cycle

These are just a few ideas for coping strategies…there are tons more out there. Working on changing your mindset won’t happen over-night. You will have setbacks and we all have fears, frustrations, insecurities, and doubts that creep in stronger at different times. The key is to find the discipline to recognize the triggers, STOP the cycle and try to focus on the positive things we can control in life. Don’t be a slave to fear, frustration, and insecurity. Finding a way to focus on the positives will help give light and hope to the seemingly darkest places.

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