Tips From Kellie Dalan:
How To Avoid Self-Sabotage This Summer
Every January, most people are completely motivated to make changes and ‘revamp’ their lives for the better. In previous blog entries, I’ve discussed goal setting and finding motivation during ‘real life’. Summer is almost here…what does that mean to you? Does the idea of warmer weather and longer days excite you or do you feel anxious about the idea of summer wardrobes and public gatherings? Many ‘new year’s resolutions’ are followed by counting the weeks till summer: I have ‘THIS LONG’ to look good in my swimsuit or look good in shorts or a tank top again. Go ahead and fill in your own blank for the goals you set earlier this year! Life probably happened a bit more than you anticipated: maybe you aren’t at your goals yet, maybe you gave up in February, maybe you did hit your goals, but it didn’t fulfill you like you anticipated! This is the season, when I start noticing a surge of social media posts referencing being happy with the ‘Winnie the Pooh’ body. Although these are ‘tongue and cheek’ and make us laugh, there is also an element of ‘giving up’ and self-sabotage that I want to address today. Just because you don’t think you accomplished the goals you set or the look you desired for this summer season, doesn’t mean that it’s all lost. When we allow our minds to settle, we are more prone to binge eat, drink more, and sit longer. The idea of: ‘well I already look this way, why bother?’ is so toxic! Nothing is ever lost…accomplishing goals is a choice daily, your body and mind will not change overnight. We all want immediate results and can spiral into discouragement when the process is a slower grind then we were expecting. SO…you don’t look how you envisioned 6 months ago…SO WHAT!!! You have warm weather approaching and many wonderful opportunities to make fun memories for you, your family, and your friends. I say SO WHAT but trust me I know it’s frustrating and so discouraging to not be at your goals or have met those goals but still feel unfulfilled. We all have our things that we want to change! Personally, I haven’t worn shorts in YEARS. Lots of medical reasons for this, but also lots of self-hate on the issue. Wearing a swimsuit makes me cringe, which I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling. How many summer pictures have I decided to be behind the camera, so I don’t have to be documented? The people in my life that truly love me don’t see the flaws I focus on. For example, my kids just want to play in the pool…they don’t care at all that I’m rounder than I want to be. Can I throw them in the air and joyfully laugh with them? Which will matter more: ‘oh (mom, dad, auntie, uncle, cousin, etc) was really cut that year’ or ‘oh my goodness that was so fun when we played in the pool for hours’? Doesn’t mean that you don’t still want goals for yourself personally but try to find a different view on the situation. I guarantee the people in your life that TRULY LOVE you for you, don’t see your flaws as you do. They want to enjoy you for your soul and the joy you bring by being YOU! WHAT TO DO? You can of course still have goals and maybe be a little frustrated that you don’t look the way you’d envisioned; however, you need to work each day toward your goals. Rather than just ‘flush your summer’ and eat, drink, and relax with no conscience. Think about approaching each day as a new day: eat 80-20 (80% healthy and clean, allowing for 20% summer enjoyment). Remember, taking this approach allows you to not feel deprived, still work toward your goals, and enjoy the summer events. 20% isn’t binging or ridiculous portions: it is occasional treats or comfort foods in small portions. Alcohol falls into the 20% also, so don’t be fooled that drink calories don’t add up fast! PRIORITIZE
ENJOY THE TREATS YOU CHOOSE
HAVE SELF CONTROL TO BE DISCIPLINED I know how easy it is to allow your mind to fool you and believe “I am fine with this body or I deserve this treat day or whatever, I already trashed the morning, might as well just eat whatever." You know what comes next: guilt and frustration that you once again allowed yourself to over-indulge. Rarely do those foolish mind comments result is positive self-talk later. Typically, it’s followed with promises to do better tomorrow or on Monday. Why not try a different approach this summer?
Recognize your pitfalls and be prepared to conquer them one day at a time. If you like to and find that you do drink a bit more in the summer, then decide your limit and slowly get there: rather than binge early and feel like an outsider when others are still drinking later. If you like BBQ comfort food: fill your plate with appropriate portions and SLOWLY eat, actually enjoying the flavors and the company. Try to get active each day!!! Taking these little steps will help you feel more confident and not having to dig out of a body hole come September…or next January! Getting healthy isn’t an ALL OR NOTHING approach. It is a decision each day to enjoy the blessings offered and try to make good choices for mind and body health. Eating super restricted and being miserable about it isn’t healthy for the mind; however, over-indulging constantly isn’t healthy for the body (or the mind). Once again…it’s ALL ABOUT THE BALANCE! Attack this summer with an open mind to find a more balanced approach. Embrace where you are right now and enjoy a more healthy and active summer. Try it and see where you are when 2020 rolls around!